Opportunities & Failures

    The opportunities offered today to our young people are as vast as any ocean. The opportunities that our young people throw away are as vast as the stars in the sky.  As adults we observe young people through the lens of personal failures, personal success, and personal values.  It is no wonder why many times adults, think young people waste opportunities presented to them. Besides that, failure can be a wonderful learning experience for our young people.  What they learn from their failures can serve to make them a better person in the future.  More importantly, without a doubt a young person will fail at something.  If they do not learn how to accept that and how to deal with that, then we are doing them a disservice.

     Experience is learning that takes place over time, as a result of the good and bad decisions a person makes.  Each person will end up with a different experience that we will shape what we view in our life forever.  Good or bad, it is Experience, that shapes most of our views.

   I too fall in the trap of being to critical of young people when they make poor decisions about life.  That is not to say that a healthy does of criticism isn't good, but many times we overlook the all to real lack of experience that young people have.

     I cannot tell you how many experiences I have that are the result of bad decisions.  What I will tell you is it is a lot.  It takes time for people to learn the lesson from good and bad experiences, and often times that knowledge isn't tested until an opportunity presents itself.  For young people to get experience that is meaningful and helpful to them, students need to be encouraged to jump on opportunities.  The quote at the top of the page is just a text-bite of what he said.  Just too the right is what he said along with the first line.  He talks about how he was never better than the job he had.  He talks about hard work and how each job provided him with a new opportunity.
   
    With our young people, we need to be not only encourage them to get off the game console and get outside more, but we need to continue to help them seek opportunities to learn about themselves and the world around them.  We need to be there to guide and support them on what the best decision is, but allow them the space to make a bad decision and fail.

     As someone who has failed at a few things in the past, I can speak from personal experience, that it sucks.  It also taught me something about my self each time.  Those lessons are certainly something we need in the future generations.  We need our young people to know how to accept failure and how to rise from the ashes of that failure and to continue to move forward to bigger and better things.

    I you are a parent, teacher, friend or neighbor.  Don't be quick to fix things for our young people.  Let them have the opportunity to experience failure.  It is a lesson that will serve them well as they go through life.

Time to Transition....

     As we approach the second semester of the school year, many of our students are excited that the end of school is approaching.  Yes, I know it is only January, but May is not far away.  For me, this is the time where I want to get to my Seniors, and talk with them about life after high school, and for my Juniors, to start thinking about the next 18 months.

     As part of an, Individualized Education Plan, IEP for short, schools are required by law to consider transition starting in 9th grade or by age 16 whichever occurs first.  For many parents, when they first encounter this, it is a bit overwhelming because a 9th grader is still a young person who needs a lot of hand holding.  Many parents are facing for the first time the reality that their child is having to look at life outside of their nest.  As a special education teacher, we are ever mindful of this, and we do our best to make this reality as painless as possible. For parents who students who aren't on IEP's, you too face the same reality of your child transitioning in a few short years.  

  

  Here is some advice for all parents on how to help you child transition from High School.

1. Relax....  Things will change, but not overnight.  You and your child will grow during this process.

2. Breath....  Okay, I know telling you to relax may not have helped like I had hoped but trust me on this, breathing is required.

3. Plan...   You and your child need to have a very open discussion about life after high school. Both of you need to be writing down goals to accomplish, ideas for post high school education, potential jobs and careers. As a parent allow your child to drive the conversation, but be prepared to ask questions to prompt them to think about what they have told you. In other words be the "devils advocate."  This is also a time where you child may change their mind several times.  Do not worry about that.  The important part here is that they are considering the future and starting to look at what options are available to them.

4. Encourage...  You might say "Wow! That should be easy... I do that already."  That is good. Keep it up.  However in the busy life of a high school student it is easy enough to forget that students need to be Encouraged all the time.  I would suggest that you look to encourage your child academically, and to encourage your child to be a community participant.  By that I mean, give them the support they need for school work, but also encourage them to become part of the community and volunteer some time to help improve the community.  Many programs within high school, are designed to give students to the opportunity to volunteer within the community. Some of the organizations are 4-H Key Club, Leo's Club, National Honor Society, and JROTC.

5. Require... So this one is easier said than done.  You need to require your student to meet certain expectations.Many of these should include learning skills at home such as cooking, laundry, and cleaning to name a few, but others items such as getting a drivers license, take the A-C-T, take the ASVAB, registering to vote, and for males registering for selective service are important. One item that can be helpful for both you and your child is a transition assessment.  I have included a link to several at the end of this article.  These assessments can help you gauge areas that you need to help you child work on.  In the case of the A-C-T, it is a good idea to take that several time.  One of the nice things about the A-C-T is that many colleges will take the best scores.  Many of my students have also improved their scores taking the A-C-T multiple times.  

     While I know that this is not an all inclusive list to help you and your child transition from high school, this should will help you both start with a plan to be successful.  Remember if you start when your child is a 9th grader, then you should have about four years to get this going.  If you are starting a little later, even as late as second semester senior year, don't worry to much. The world isn't going to end.  You most likely will have been doing a good majority of what I have recommended here already.  You child's school should also be talking with your child along the way about graduation requirements, and upcoming dates for important events, such as A-C-T registration and the FASFA deadline.   

Here are a few links to help you out. 

http://www.act.org/

https://collegereadiness.collegeboard.org/sat

http://www.rpesd.org/AgeAppropriateTransition.aspx

https://fafsa.ed.gov/

Outside of Work...

       The saying goes "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."  This is true for all kids.  We are reminded at report card time that grades are an important part of academics.  We encourage our kids to study more, and get good grades.  Which is great!  I say keep it up. Good grades are important. Grades and the classroom are not the only place where education happens.  In fact many times the important social education that we want our children to get happens on the playground and on the sports teams they participate in.  Sometimes though we forget about some outside organizations that also provide the much needed social education.  Here I am talking about groups like the Boy Scouts, Girls Scouts, or 4-H.

     For many people 4-H is seen as being for younger kids, while FFA is seen being for older kids.  This is not true.  4-H offers the same opportunities to all kids not just younger ones.  In many ways, the two programs will complement each other.  I will also tell you that as an adult leader, I helped our Extension educator with her other projects, such as the 7 mile Bicycle Ride through the Wichita Mountains in southwest Oklahoma.

      4-H is one of the organizations that I participated in during High School.  That led me to later be an adult leader. As my friends will tell you, I wasn't anti-social in high school, but I was socially awkward.  My mother insisted that I participate in something outside of school.  As I had an interest in marksmanship and hunting, I participated during high school in the 4-H Shooting Sports program.  In 4-H you learn by doing.  I simply did not learn from a class, or book.  I was expected to go out and participate with the group.  I was very fortunate to have a wonderful coach, Marie Ketchum, who taught me a number of things besides Trap & Skeet.  I learned how to interact with both adults and peers in a social environment.  I learned a great deal how to talk to people in many different ways.  I learned how to accept criticism without taking it personally.  I also learned how recover from failure without it ruining my entire day. Trust me if you only break one clay out of 25 you will have a lot of self doubt.  Most importantly, I learned that every person you meet can teach you something if you are willing to learn.


   For me Shooting Sports was how I participated in 4-H but it is not the only way to participate.  I encourage everyone to seek the local Agricultural Extension office and find out the 4-H program in your area.  If you are part of the military, Contact your local MWR office for the different 4-H opportunities that are available in your community.

     Organizations like 4-H are another way that teachers and parents can work together to build a community based on a shared interest. I encourage not only parents to get involved but also teachers.  I enjoyed working with other 4-H volunteers from around Oklahoma.  Our common interests in student enrichment made for a great time, and for a lot of learning all the way around.

     If you take nothing else from this article, take away that it is in everyone's interest to get involved.  There are lots of young people in your community will have interests in something that you have an interest in. If you nurture that interest in the young people of your community, you help the community improve.