A Reflection on Chapter 3...

Fialka, J. M., Mikus, K. C., & Feldman, A. K. (2012). Parents and Professionals Partnering for Children with Disabilities: A Dance that Matters. Corwin, A SAGE Publications Company.

    Getting behind in work, is always a challenge especially when your 5 month old is the reason.  My son has been under the weather for the last several days, and is just now getting back to feeling better.  That of course has put me behind in my classes. (Sorry Dr. Balderaz, I am trying the best I can.)  So as we begin to explore Chapter 3 of the reading, I am reminded about how parents, work and have lives outside of meetings.  I am also reminded that everyone needs to be a little more understanding on the roadblocks and obstacles we face in our everyday lives. 

    Being a parent for only 5 months, I have had to learn a great deal about young children.  Being a teacher has helped some, but a baptism by fire is the best description.  I really think that this experience has helped me understand a little more of what parents go through, especially when they want to help their child. 

    Chapter 3, provides a number of suggestions for both parents and professionals to help build a team that is able to provide the needed supports the child requires.  What this chapter provides is a set of guidelines each side should have when they are coming together with others to work on the issues the child and family face.   While many of these guidelines seem to be common sense, I have found that many times when people are scared, unsure, nervous, that a simple reminder of some of the guidelines are helpful to help keep the focus on the problem and the task.  It is also a good way for both parents and professionals to seek a common ground.  

    The first part of Chapter 3, deals with the guidelines that parents need when dealing with professionals, and the second part of Chapter 3 deals with the guidelines Professionals need when dealing with parents.   One important aspect of the relationship roles, is that I expect Professionals to be more understanding of the needs of parents than they seem to be portrayed.  What I mean by that statement is, that as a Teacher, I do a lot more "Dancing" than the parents do, with a variety of different partners.  I think that a seasoned teacher should be setting the example for other less experienced teachers.  For me, I was very fortunate that when I entered in to Special Education, I had a great group of ladies who were willing to help me as I got started and continue to this day to be a resource that I can draw upon. 

   (Page 97) Reflections, "As I review this list the three that caught my attention are"

1. Communicate
2. Read Carefully
3. Learn

The 3 guidelines I chose, are the ones, that I want the parents of my students to focus on.  I really think that each one of these components can help build a better relationship with the team as a whole and will also, prevent some uncomfortable meetings.   

     I would like to take take this one step further.  While each of those three elements I think are important, they are not the only elements that a parent should focus on.   I would encourage my parents to also to make documentation a habit.   I also would like parents to really ask questions about how to document. I would also like them to seek out information about what is going on with their child from some reputable sources.   I would also like to see parents show up to some of the workshops that the district puts on to help educate parents.  I want to see my parents more than once a year at an IEP meeting and I want to talk to them more than when there is a problem.  

(Page 100) How does the reframing of "in denial" impact your thinking about what families might experience?"

   I agree that the words "in denial" are poorly chosen.  I think the book is correct to point out that in disagreement is a better term to be used.  As I write this blog, I think of my former teachers, and their views of me when I was young student labeled as "Learning Disabled" well before I was diagnosed with Aspergers in college.  I also think of what my parents must have thought about what those professionals said and thought about my abilities.   I think that no one ever expected me to be an over achiever.  I certainly never had the grades my younger brother did.  To include college grades.  When I reflect on what I have accomplished in education and life I have shattered a lot of views of my abilities.  However it took a great deal of work on my part.   I think what both sides need to consider is what are realistic goals.  Early childhood intervention is a good thing.  I also think that we need to be setting goals that provide rigor and are challenging, but not impossible.   I also think that we need to also start to address transition early on.  I know that IDEA mandates that we address secondary transition by 16, however I am of the opinion that if you are waiting that long, you are not doing anyone any favors.  I think secondary transition should begin with the first IEP.   I also think that as the book states, that many of the goals should include input from the student.  As a student matures, and gets older, they should be not only informed of what is going on with their education, but they need to be team members who have a say in their outcome.  They are the one who are going to deal with the disability for the rest of their life, we need to be teaching them now how to make others "dance" with them.  

(page 103) "Name two other strategies you can use to promote partnerships."

1. Refrain from using Jargon.
2. Strive to learn about the parents as a person.

I think that we as professionals use Jargon to often with parents as we use it all the time with our peers and co-workers.  I think in many cases that can lead to a sense of making parents feel uneducated, and intimidates them.  I think that parents also are afraid to ask for explanations.   I think that when we prepare ourselves for meetings, we should be working from an outline of how to make the meeting progress.  (This is what I do in any meeting)  When I use an outline, I look at it like a script that I have things planned out, and it helps me avoid talking over the head of everyone in the meeting.   I also think that too many times, we as professionals don't try to learn about the parents.  I think the nature of being an overworked teacher with so many students on our case load makes this worse.  I also think that in some ways, parents also don't want to run into us either.  In the high school setting where I teach, I have very few parents come in for open  house, or parent teacher conferences.  Those parents that do come in, are the ones I have the best relationship with and are the ones, I really don't need to see.  I think that when we have IEP meeting, we need to set around some time to talk about something other than the meeting.  I think that will also help set the stage for a good open conversation and I think it will help put everyone at a more relaxed mood.

(Page 106)  "What strikes you as important to remember when meetings are beginning?"

I think all the suggestions in the book are good ideas, but I will admit I won't use all of them.  I will tailor my meetings to the dynamics of the group, and the relationship I have with the parents.   If I were to pick one of the suggestions as being the one I would concentrate on the most, it would be to create an environment that is welcoming to the parents and their child.  I think that will do more to set a good tone for the meeting than anything else.   I think that this is best done, with my approach of using an outline of the meeting. (This is also good, so I don't forget anything during the meeting if we get a bit side tracked.)  

(Page 108) "One thing I want to remember about beginning and ending meetings is."

From the reading it would be to encourage parents to follow up with any questions concerns after the meeting.   One thing I did not see in the book that I think should be is for professionals to be respectful of the time parents spend in meetings.  We are paid to be at the meetings they are not.  In many cases, parents have to take off work, to attend meetings.  That is why, when we plan meetings, we need to be accommodating to parents schedule, but we also need to make sure that all of the people who need to be at the meeting are at the meeting. 

AUTHORS NOTE TO READERS:
The posts in this series are for credit in my Masters Program at the University of Texas of the Permian Basin.

Opportunities & Failures

    The opportunities offered today to our young people are as vast as any ocean. The opportunities that our young people throw away are as vast as the stars in the sky.  As adults we observe young people through the lens of personal failures, personal success, and personal values.  It is no wonder why many times adults, think young people waste opportunities presented to them. Besides that, failure can be a wonderful learning experience for our young people.  What they learn from their failures can serve to make them a better person in the future.  More importantly, without a doubt a young person will fail at something.  If they do not learn how to accept that and how to deal with that, then we are doing them a disservice.

     Experience is learning that takes place over time, as a result of the good and bad decisions a person makes.  Each person will end up with a different experience that we will shape what we view in our life forever.  Good or bad, it is Experience, that shapes most of our views.

   I too fall in the trap of being to critical of young people when they make poor decisions about life.  That is not to say that a healthy does of criticism isn't good, but many times we overlook the all to real lack of experience that young people have.

     I cannot tell you how many experiences I have that are the result of bad decisions.  What I will tell you is it is a lot.  It takes time for people to learn the lesson from good and bad experiences, and often times that knowledge isn't tested until an opportunity presents itself.  For young people to get experience that is meaningful and helpful to them, students need to be encouraged to jump on opportunities.  The quote at the top of the page is just a text-bite of what he said.  Just too the right is what he said along with the first line.  He talks about how he was never better than the job he had.  He talks about hard work and how each job provided him with a new opportunity.
   
    With our young people, we need to be not only encourage them to get off the game console and get outside more, but we need to continue to help them seek opportunities to learn about themselves and the world around them.  We need to be there to guide and support them on what the best decision is, but allow them the space to make a bad decision and fail.

     As someone who has failed at a few things in the past, I can speak from personal experience, that it sucks.  It also taught me something about my self each time.  Those lessons are certainly something we need in the future generations.  We need our young people to know how to accept failure and how to rise from the ashes of that failure and to continue to move forward to bigger and better things.

    I you are a parent, teacher, friend or neighbor.  Don't be quick to fix things for our young people.  Let them have the opportunity to experience failure.  It is a lesson that will serve them well as they go through life.

Time to Transition....

     As we approach the second semester of the school year, many of our students are excited that the end of school is approaching.  Yes, I know it is only January, but May is not far away.  For me, this is the time where I want to get to my Seniors, and talk with them about life after high school, and for my Juniors, to start thinking about the next 18 months.

     As part of an, Individualized Education Plan, IEP for short, schools are required by law to consider transition starting in 9th grade or by age 16 whichever occurs first.  For many parents, when they first encounter this, it is a bit overwhelming because a 9th grader is still a young person who needs a lot of hand holding.  Many parents are facing for the first time the reality that their child is having to look at life outside of their nest.  As a special education teacher, we are ever mindful of this, and we do our best to make this reality as painless as possible. For parents who students who aren't on IEP's, you too face the same reality of your child transitioning in a few short years.  

  

  Here is some advice for all parents on how to help you child transition from High School.

1. Relax....  Things will change, but not overnight.  You and your child will grow during this process.

2. Breath....  Okay, I know telling you to relax may not have helped like I had hoped but trust me on this, breathing is required.

3. Plan...   You and your child need to have a very open discussion about life after high school. Both of you need to be writing down goals to accomplish, ideas for post high school education, potential jobs and careers. As a parent allow your child to drive the conversation, but be prepared to ask questions to prompt them to think about what they have told you. In other words be the "devils advocate."  This is also a time where you child may change their mind several times.  Do not worry about that.  The important part here is that they are considering the future and starting to look at what options are available to them.

4. Encourage...  You might say "Wow! That should be easy... I do that already."  That is good. Keep it up.  However in the busy life of a high school student it is easy enough to forget that students need to be Encouraged all the time.  I would suggest that you look to encourage your child academically, and to encourage your child to be a community participant.  By that I mean, give them the support they need for school work, but also encourage them to become part of the community and volunteer some time to help improve the community.  Many programs within high school, are designed to give students to the opportunity to volunteer within the community. Some of the organizations are 4-H Key Club, Leo's Club, National Honor Society, and JROTC.

5. Require... So this one is easier said than done.  You need to require your student to meet certain expectations.Many of these should include learning skills at home such as cooking, laundry, and cleaning to name a few, but others items such as getting a drivers license, take the A-C-T, take the ASVAB, registering to vote, and for males registering for selective service are important. One item that can be helpful for both you and your child is a transition assessment.  I have included a link to several at the end of this article.  These assessments can help you gauge areas that you need to help you child work on.  In the case of the A-C-T, it is a good idea to take that several time.  One of the nice things about the A-C-T is that many colleges will take the best scores.  Many of my students have also improved their scores taking the A-C-T multiple times.  

     While I know that this is not an all inclusive list to help you and your child transition from high school, this should will help you both start with a plan to be successful.  Remember if you start when your child is a 9th grader, then you should have about four years to get this going.  If you are starting a little later, even as late as second semester senior year, don't worry to much. The world isn't going to end.  You most likely will have been doing a good majority of what I have recommended here already.  You child's school should also be talking with your child along the way about graduation requirements, and upcoming dates for important events, such as A-C-T registration and the FASFA deadline.   

Here are a few links to help you out. 

http://www.act.org/

https://collegereadiness.collegeboard.org/sat

http://www.rpesd.org/AgeAppropriateTransition.aspx

https://fafsa.ed.gov/